here's an email i received today from one of my favorite newsletters, a little website full of love and light know as up yours.
Dear Toilet bowl floaties, I'd say good morning but I don't want to tax your attention span. Well, here it is, another week shot to hell. You know, a wise man once wrote, "You shovel sixteen tons and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt." I think this really applies to your lives well. What I mean is that the kind of dog-faces subscribed to this list can expect to die young with nothing accomplished in their lives. Let me see if I can make a prediction for you. Picture yourselves at about 50-years-old... you look like you're about 86 and you have a constant wheeze and hacking cough from smoking Marlboros for thirty-five years. You have three or four children. At least one of them illegitimate, two of them are addicted to drugs, one of them is serving a stretch in the state pen for either armed robbery or statutory rape, and the pride of the family is a slag shoveler at the local steel mill. You yourself have spent a lifetime wandering from one point- less, low-paying job to another, often taking six or eight months off to collect unemployment. You met your wife or husband drunk at a bar and ended up getting married nine months later, after the baby was spawned, simply because your partner had a better trailer (rent controlled apartment) than yours. Your life's ambition is to buy a brand-new pick up truck and customize it with monster tires. That, of course, has remained unfulfilled because what little disposable income you have is spent mostly on Budweiser and pork rinds and the hooker you indulge yourself in once a month in the neighboring town. If you're a woman you probably work in either a beauty salon or for a telemarketing company. You have at least three pieces of exercise equipment residing in your home which you cannot use any more because your ass is simply too fat, and your entire income is spent on paying off the surgery to have your tubes tied. When you do die, it will be at least sixteen hours before anybody notices, and then only because it is so unusual for you not to ask for either a beer or a chicken pot pie for so long. At your funeral your kids will get into a fist fight over who gets the stereo. Hopefully I've set the tone for your week. If you find yourself becoming too depressed at the prospects for your future just remember these important words... "Tough shit." Drop dead, Chadwick i just love that chadwick, let me tell ya. he's got the balls to say whatever he fucking pleases, and i admire that. CHADWICK IS THE MAN! i really hope you all got a good laugh out of that one, because if any of you were offended, then you are all taking yourselves way too seriously. take it sleazy~ jj10:15 p.m. - January 31, 2003
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