Diary Reviews, Part 2 yep, that's right! the diary reviews are back - written with special love and care, as a new year's tribute to my great friends over at open city~ (we call it open-shitty over at bitchfest). so enjoy!
1) loud woman~ a few of her infamous quotes: "As soon as I knit a scarf, stick on a price tag and hang it on the rack, it sells. That should make me very happy. But I feel like screaming 'YOU FUCKING PEOPLE BACK OFF AND GIVE ME SOME BREATHING ROOM.' " damn lady, fucking chill! "Making my salad to take to work, I noticed my greens were a little wilted and mushy. I almost turned my nose up at it , then I remembered reading that the Manson Girls would dumpster dive at grocery stores and restaurants for discarded produce. 'Well, if the Manson Girls could eat that, so can I!' Sitting there eating, I realized they might not be the best role models." have any of you guys ever seen that part on saturday night live, that little intermission or something, and it's called "deep thoughts by jack handy"? well, that's what this diary reminds me of...and can't you all just hear that guy's voice on SNL, narrating those two entries? i swear, that shit is fucking hysterical. and what do you think was going through her mind when she wrote the bit about the manson girls? yowza! but here's my favorite, where the paranoia evidently sets in: (probably her fixation on the manson clan coming out) "Stop checking my diary so often. You're creeping me out. You should use this alone time to work on your issues if you really do want to get better. I read a bit of your journal and sweetheart...you are a mess. If you put half the energy you spend checking here and messing around into something productive you might not be such a sadsack thumbsucker." guys, who the fucking hell is she talking to? lady, i hate to tell you this, but YOU are the one who is spending all of her time being a "sadsack thumbsucker", as you put it. aren't you one of the little "open-shitty" clan that's constantly lurking around bitchfest? aren't you one of the main participants in the whole "let's slam the women at bitchfest" over there, and without even knowing half of us? but that's ok, cunt. see, we real ladies are used to the flaming assholes out there such as yourself, and we now know how to deal with it - by only focusing our attention on two things: SEEK and DESTROY. so just remember, when it's all said and done: you asked for it. 2) sinnamon~ at first, i took a look at her layout, and thought it was pretty cool - and i thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, i was going to have to say that even though she's a fucking slag, her diary was pretty good. i was wrong. DAMN. a few quotes from sinnamon: "God some people are SO judgemental." the first quote, and it fucking slays me. are people judgmental, hon? and do we know how to spell judgmental? ok sweetie, i'll spell it real slow for you: j...u...d...g...m...e...n...t...a...l. can you handle that? and can we say HYP-O-CRITE? if you need me to, i can spell that one too - just let me know. "I spent most of today sleeping and playing videogames with a heating pad. My cramps are pretty bad. I thought birth control was supposed to help this stuff? I really need to switch birth control methods anyway. I really, really hate the pill." first off, no dear - the pill does not help with cramps. are you really that much of a fuck-witt? secondly, oh god no! please, oh please don't stop taking the pill! the thought of you reproducing makes me want to fucking puke. oh, and let's see...no one has posted to the message board that sinammon has on her site since fucking october. no wonder she has to hang out over at open-shitty so much! if she hung out and worked on her own pitiful site, she'd get lonely, the poor baby! 3) uberhamster~ first of all, uberhamster's diary was designed by sinnamon...and hamster, i'm here to tell ya, you're layout is a piece of fucking shit. and who the hell would call their diary uberhamster, for christ's sake? that name is completely fucked. it's also one of the most boring diaries i've ever had the rare privelege of reading. it's all about the life of a guy obsessed with fucking "survivor" - and it reads like stereo instructions or some shit. please. and hamster boy is also one of the clan who stomped gingerbug so mercilessly on diarysurvivor. but that was all ok, according to him and the crew, because they reasoned that if ginger didn't want to be slayed, she should have never written anything personal in her diary. yeah, that sounds real good when you say it out loud, doesn't it? but it's still a bunch of hypocritical bullshit, and every last one of them over at open-shitty knows it. so with this diary, i don't even want to post quotes. it bores me to fucking tears. enough said. 4) storyoflo~ (goes by "flo" over on the open-shitty board) another diary that is almost too fucking boring for words. the layout looks like it might as well be one of those premade templates that diaryland offers or someting - plain black and white, and that's it. and i tell you what, it might as well be multi-colored and blinding, because the entries are so fucking happy, they make you want to run screaming right off the bat. one entry she has is even called "getting jiggy with it". yikes. you know, i can just see it now...she might even be the person who wrote to me in my guestbook, and told me my diary was dark and dreary, and then signed it fucking "pooky". people like that need to be shot, i swear to god. 5)angeline-is~ (posts as "jellybeansquicket" over at open-shitty) angeline is??? we have not a fucking clue. let me just say, for now, that little angel has taken enough shit from bitchfest for the time being, and will be spared. i will say that her posts over at open-shitty weren't near as bad as the rest of them. so for now, i'll give her a break. but angelina, that woman on your layout does look like she's taking piss. that's just fact. and last, but certainly not least...> 6) puppetjerk~ (he goes by "quithappy" on the open-shitty board). here's a quote from the jerk himself. apparently, he is also the one who runs the board over at open-shitty: When last you read new words here I was tailspinning from the usual dysthymic state into a deeper, richer, uglier bout of depression. I tried self-medicating (read: drinking) it away, but ended up making stupid drunken phone calls and complicating things and generally getting more depressed. So then I decided to ditch my anti-med stance, go back to the shrink and get new pills. The alternative was more of the same lousy cycling I've done for 20 years; I was ready for something new. dear puppetjerk: we at bitchfest were unaware of your current mental instability, along with your dependancy on prescription drugs. we now understand why you run such a pathetic excuse for a public message board, and why you've allowed such assholes to post to it. we also fully understand why you've allowed these assholes to pull your strings for so long, hence the name puppetjerk. so for now, you are excused. take care, the bitchfest team. oh, just one more thing: to all of you assholes at open city - you can kiss my lily white ass, you fucking douche bags. now you all have a nice day! xxx~ jj3:53 a.m. - December 31, 2002
Recent entries:
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~PT BITES the BIG ONE~ - March 18, 2004
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