today was just a bad fucking day all around. it went like this:
school. ahhh, the joy. there are times that i really enjoy it, and there are times that i want to say fuck it so bad, it's all i can do not to walk down to the registrar's office and tell them i quit. but, living in my parents home has been my sole inspiration for sticking with it thusfar. can you tell i hate living here? let me elaborate:
all weekend my parents have been fighting. well actually, my dad has been in one of his i'm-the-all-mighty-most-important-person-asshole-of-the-house-fucker moods. so it's been mainly him fighting with my mother, and my mother crying a lot. this is hard, because i try to bite my tongue when all i want to do is tell him what my mother won't, and that's to shove it up his self-righteous fucking ass. but that would only cause a big fight, so i just keep my mouth shut and try and stay out of the way. it's stressful, though. saturday, i actually went in my room and started to cry about it, because i had finally had it with watching my mother walk around crying. it just makes me feel so trapped here, along with all of the other stupid things my parents pull on me. but, don't get me started. if i've learned by their example though, i'm afraid i'll never allow myself to get married. period.
so i drag my tired ass to school, thinking i'll be relieved just to be somewhere else. right. see, friday when i went back to the doctor, i found out that i have pneumonia. but since i missed three days last week, i had to go back. so now i'm behind. fuck.
so i'm in the library struggling to do my lab paper on the stucture of arteries vs. veins, (my back and chest just throbbing from being sick), and study for the lab exam (which was tonight), and i just started to feel like screaming. it's not even like the anatomy is that hard.
then, i get to sociology. i hand in my paper on the article i read called, "the art of savage discovery: blaming the victim", and i find out we have a pop quiz which i'm not real prepared for. double fuck.
by now i'm thinking, i'm blowing off my next class and going home. then i think, wait. no fucking way. that's the place you were just trying to ditch at seven this morning, remember? so i go to class, yee fucking ha! oh, and just so you guys know this: don't ever take intro to theatre. all you do is learn stupid shit out of the book. you don't even get to act. sucks!
now, can everyone see why i wrote that last entry about getting stoned? i swear, if i had some pot right now, i would learn to like it.
anybody have any? if so, email your responses to:
[email protected]from there, mailing and payment arrangements will be made. thank you - jj
12:05 a.m. - February 25, 2003
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