in the last two days, i have tried to update my diary several times, only to go over what i have written and decide to delete it, due to the fact that the entry says to me absolutely nothing. i really hate that. i hate writing about stupid shit. i like to make a fucking point when i write something down, ya know??? i like to actually have something of value to spew forth. i can't fucking stand reading mindless dribble, especially when it's my mindless dribble. so, here i am, for the upteenth time, trying again. ah, well, practice makes fucking perfect i guess. i think i have gotten too caught up lately in trying to make bigger and better designs on my site, which is something i vowed NEVER to do. so it's back to the basics, kiddos. like it or fucking lump it.
well, ok, i admit it.....sometimes, it's all fucking mindless dribble. but hey, it's all good, bitch!!! as long as it's total sarcastic making-a-point-in-your-face mindless dribble, it's ok with me. i have still been dealing with this job situation.......OH FUCK!! THAT REMINDS ME!! i have to call in my claim for unemployment for the week, i fucking almost forgot!! damn........ok, i'll be back in a few. ok, i'm back now!! damn, that was real fuckin close.......see, i have to call this 800 number every weekend and file my unemployment claim over the phone....i have to call on a saturday or sunday, between the hours of 10am saturday to 11:30pm on sunday. so, if i forget, i am totally fucked. this is how it works: first, i take my finger and dial in the number. then, this total fag fucking voice comes on the line and says: welcome to iowa's unemployment insurance claims reporting system. this line is ONLY for losers, druggies, whores, deadbeat parents who don't pay childsupport, and cheap slut sex tramp poodles who can't even get a job hooking. to procede in english, please press one. to procede in spanish, press two. (then this dumb cunt gets on the line and babbles a bunch of shit in spanish for a few secs). me: (i pressed one.)....yeah yeah. i know i'm the cheap slut sex tramp poodle here. now let's get on with it. please enter your social security number. you do know your social security number, don't you??? or did you even fucking go to school that long?? me: i know my social security number, ok??? christ, i got my fucking ged, you bastard. and don't even try and give me that got-a-ged-is-crap shit, i have a college degree too, you fuck. now enter that secret fucking pin number we gave you a few weeks ago. you better remember it, or you'll NEVER get a check, and then your kids won't eat. oh, and this isn't fucking aol bitch, we won't email it to you. me: ok, ok.........i know i wrote it down somewhere(i find the number and punch it in)........there it is. now fuck off!!! do you have a new address or phone number??? because you know you have to tell us if you do, or you don't get fucking paid!! enter one for yes. enter nine for no. me: ok, that's an easy one, whew!! (i pressed nine.) please answer all questions truthfully. WARNING: if you attempt in ANY FUCKING WAY to claim and receive unemployment insurance benefits by entering false information, that is fucking fraud, and by law, WE CAN HUNT YOUR FUCKING MISERABLE ASS DOWN LIKE THE DOG YOU ARE AND TORTURE AND KILL YOU. WE CAN EVEN TAKE YOUR FIRST BORN. HELL, WE CAN FUCKING TAKE ALL YOUR CHILDREN IF WE FEEL LIKE IT!!! Then, we'll sell said children on the black market to get our money back THAT YOU FUCKING STOLE!! to show you understand the warning, please press one for yes. press nine for no. me: uhhh........yes???? (even though i love my kids dearly, i pressed one.) you are now ready to enter your weekly claim, being that you are a jobless, low-life puke fucking loser. oh, by the way: if you hang up the phone before you hear the system say goodbye, then don't count on your claim being filed. well, you can't count on it anyway, can you???? (i then hear maniacal laughter). did you work during the week claimed?? enter one for yes. enter nine for no. me: of course i didn't work, you dumb fuck. if i worked, why would i call this crazy fucking automated system to be fucking insulted?? ( i pressed nine). were you ready, willing, able, and available during the week claimed?? you better have been. if you say no, that means you are automatically DENIED, bitch. press one for yes. press nine for no. me: (i pressed one). did you refuse any job offers or job referrals during the week?? remember that warning statement??? just checking, asshole. me: no, bitch, i'm downtown in hooker heels. i don't need a fucking nine to five!! what the fuck do you think??? (i pressed one). enter the number of employers you contacted during the week claimed. you should have at least contacted two employers during said week IN PERSON. remember, we can call you in at random and check your job log AT ANY GIVEN TIME, and call each employer on it and make sure your ass isn't fucking playing games with us. so if you're lying, you might as well bring your kids in with you. me: i'm thinking, damn.....i didn't make any fucking contacts in the last two weeks. (i go ahead and press two). then, after all that shit, that faggy fucking automated voice goes: thank you. you have actually gotten off your lazy jobless ass and accomplished something today by making this phone call, so congratulations!!!!! your weekly benefit claim has been filed. or not. goodbye. please hang up the fucking phone now, you stupid bitch. scary!!! but that's the good ole state for ya, always lookin out for our best interest........yeah, fucking right!!! peace, i'm out~ jj
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