somehow, when i was going over it all in my mind beforehand, i knew this is the way it would turn out. i was even afraid of it. i agonized over it...turned the question over and over in my mind, trying to figure out what was best. of course, what i thought i knew, and what i thought i meant to others...it was all wrong.
because of that, i think it's time to be done with it, and for me to be gone from here. there is nothing more to do or to say...and knowing that my first fears were true, knowing i was right about how i would be reacted to, well that is the worst. it's the worst to me, because i would have never done it to all of you. never in a million years. jj2:00 a.m. - December 08, 2002
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