winter vs. summer: (or, living in the midwest - translation, I-O-H-E-L-L...ooops, i mean IOWA)
1) winter: that's one season, mind you, and there are supposed to be fucking four. winter lasts about six months here. now am i just retarded, or is that TWO FUCKING SEASONS? christ. now compare that to the maybe if you're fucking lucky three months of summer. is it just me, or is that BULLSHIT?? 2) activities you can do in the winter: shovel snow. yes, you can shovel snow every damned day if you are really motivated. yeah, and you can drop dead of a heart attack too. another winter activity: skiing. it's great exercise, yes. but you can also: a) run into a fucking tree and die. just ask sonny bono. b) fall off of a fucking ski lift over a posh resort somewhere, and drop into a snow covered abyss, never to be found again. now that shit would seriously suck ass, dude. now this is all opposed to the swimming you can do in the summertime. yes, i know, you can drown. but the way i see it is this: if you can't go learn to doggy paddle out back in your fucking wading pool, you deserve to drown anyway. 3) winter depression: yes, winter is totally fucking well-known for bringing on depression. people get that seasonal disorder, where the lack of sunlight makes them go totally fucking wacko. take me, for instance. oh, and it's a well established fucking FACT that people off themselves around the holidays, and mainly on christmas. now where i'm from, christmas is in THE WINTERTIME. and have you ever heard of people freaking the fuck out in summer? no...not me either. they are all too busy in the summer, hanging out with their friends in the nice warm SUNSHINE, and then having parties and keggers at night. 4) winter snow: it's just really fucking ugly. the whole town starts looking nasty and gray, like someone just spewed everywhere. does it ever snow in the fucking SUMMERTIME? NO! ok, ok...so my friend mary over at rant-o-rama makes a valid point: winter is good, because you can put on more clothes, thereby hiding fat, and looking DAMNED GOOD. yeah, ok..she's right about that. but listen: what if you get lost in a blizzard, like the fucking donner party? is more clothing gonna help your sorry ass then? i say probably fucking NOT! and then, see....if you are overweight, you are going to make an even better meal. YIKES!! so, in conclusion, i would have to say FUCK WINTER! i would also like to bitch-slap old man winter, too. and believe me..i would, if i could hunt his senile ass down. should i consult with sullivan40? (inside joke there, people). LMFAO!! peace, i'm out~ jj3:26 p.m. - November 16, 2002
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