i just want the big *war* that's been going on to be over.
it's honestly been bothering me more and more lately, this big war between myself and liz. there isn't a lot i can say for myself about some of the mean things i've posted about this subject. i know how nasty and crude i can be...there is no doubt about it. all i can say is it was almost like this: the more i felt attacked, by liz and her friends, i came right back after them. i fought fire with pure fire. the more i felt all of these judgments being passed down onto me, like i curse too much, i am crude, i am without feeling, i am a trailer trash crack whore, i am a horrible mother, and just rant and rave at people, whatever....the more i heard it all, the more i just kept it going. i felt like, "people, if you can't even bother to get to know me, and then decide who i am, then i'll be whoever you say i am, and run with it". and the more it kept going, the crazier it all became. i just want it all to be done. i am done. i know the things i've said and done, and what i'm guilty of. i know i was wrong for many things....we all are. we are all to blame in this whole stupid mess. everything we've accused one another of, we've practically all done. and liz and i...we've both said terrible things about the other. but from my end...no more. it's time to look at one another, and realize we are all stuck in this insane life together, no matter if we are on the internet, or sitting in one anothers' living rooms. we all have a lot of each other in every one of us, good and bad. it's time to just lay it all down, and accept each other for who we are...and try to see who the other really is. it's time to just let it all go. well, goodnite all...i'm exhausted. i have got to get some sleep before school in the morning, or that will be another story of stupidity unleashed..heh. peace, love, and light~~ jj2:52 a.m. - December 04, 2002
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