I don't need NO DOCTOR
12:10 a.m. on April 26, 2002
good evening, fellow diary sluts!!!!
tonight i'm in a much better frame of mind than i was this afternoon.....i was literally overcome by
fear today at the idea of going to see my new neurologist, who's name i can barely pronounce, let alone
try and spell. by the time i got into the exam room, was asked a list of questions an arm and a leg long,
which by the way took us a half hour forty-five minutes to get through, (stupid after having migraines
for nearly 20 years), i had a splitting headache. i had myself so nervous and worked up, that when the
doctor came in talking to me with her sweet smile and motherly nature, i burst into tears within the first
ten minutes. this is a side of me i rarely show anyone.....but especially all the headache doctors
i've seen in the past. i rarely even talk to them honestly, to tell you the truth. why?? because most of them,
(and this doctor is the eleventh one i've had in almost 16 years), have treated me like an addict coming
into their office just to get my fix. like, i'm not really in pain, but just want pain medication to get
fucking high. well, guess what kiddies: most of the medication i take makes me sick to my stomach, too tired
to function, vomit, have no appetite, and basically feel like shit. but pain is no alternative for me, with two
children to take care of. without something to rely on when i need it, my alternative is to lie in bed, useless,
and not be able to care for my children, have a job, or just function for that matter. if i could hack off
my head and stuff it in a trash compactor, then buy a new one, i most certainly would. or, better yet, when i do have a real severe one, if someone came up and put a gun to my temple, i'd tell them to shoot. so when one of those doctors
can actually "fix" me, (pardon the pun), then they can tell me i'm not REALLY in pain. and that's that.
on a much, much, lighter note THANK GOD!!! i read a diary tonight that i loved....it was diary of a phone slut. oh you've got to check this out!!! this girl tells the
shit for real!! i just love it...., HEH!!!
being unemployed as i am.....i could seriously see wiring up a separate line in my house and getting paid
to "talk dirty"!! if i didn't live at home right now, that is. doesn't that suck???? i'm a grown woman
and have to worry about being BUSTED by mommy and daddy. oh shit that is sad!!!!! see, i told you the shit
is fucking IRONIC!! back where i started......sighs. and just think of the shit load of money
you could make from all the fucking perverts out there......assholes. it's just a wasted dream, whoa is me.
well, that is all for now.......i had some more ranting to do, but i'm simply worn out from the day. have a good one!!
"piece", i'm out~ HEH!!!
jj
by the way......i think i finally got the banner situation cleared up...(once again, fuckitty fuck fuck!!), so be on the lookout!!
kisses!!
Dig
I would love to beat the face,
Of any mother fucker that's thinkin' they can change me..White knuckles grip pushing through for the gold, if you're wantin' a piece of me..I broke the mother fuckin' mold, I'm drowning in your wake...Shit rubbed in my face..
Teething on concrete, Gums bleeding
Dig - bury me underneath Everything that I am rearranging - Dig - bury me underneath Everything that I was slowly changing
I struggle in violated space, Sell out motherfuckers in the biz that try to fuck me..Hang from their T's rated P.G. insight, I ain't sellin' my soul when there's nothing to buy!! I'm livid in my space - Pissing in my face...Fuck you while you try To fuck me!!
Dig - bury me underneath Everything that I am rearranging - Dig - bury me underneath Everything that I was - you ain't fuckin' changing me
DIG!!! DIG!!! DIG!!!!DIG!!!
Let me help you tie the rope around your neck, Let me help to talk you the wrong way off the ledge,
Let me help you hold the glock against your head, Let me help you tie the rope around your neck!! Let me help to talk you the wrong way off the ledge, Let me help you hold the glock up to your head!
Let me help to chain the weights onto your legs..Get on the plank fuck
Dig - bury me underneath Everything that I am rearranging - Dig - bury me underneath Everything that I was slowly changing...Wish you were committing
Suicide..suckin' on a mother fuckin' tailpipe..Dead man dangling from a tight rope....Limbless in the middle of a channel bob away
heh heh heh heh....
