sometimes i wish i could be charlotte.

at least she stood up for herself.

sometimes, i wish the hate could fill me up, until there was nothing....

numbness would be nice.

my problem is this: i'm too quick to believe in someone, too quick to feel for them, too quick to want to take them into my arms.

to the people i love, i am always too good.

this is a sickening weakness on my part.

if i was like charlotte, i would still have a part of him, because i would not only have his head in my closet, but i would cut out his black fucking heart.

then i know i wouldn't feel so miserable.

i wouldn't feel so empty inside.

sometimes, i wish i could be like charlotte.

at least she stood up for herself.

-jj