ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS!!

we would like to direct your attention to our flashing blue light in isle five, as today we have on display one cunting, depressed, just-signed-up-for-unemployment whore, complete with raggedy fish net stockings and spiked hooker heels. for today only, for a special low low price of just ten dollars, this mamma-we-broke wench will blow you, and for just twenty-five dollars, she'll take you around the world out in the back parking lot. this is a special one time offer, and will go back to regular prices tomorrow. take care, have a great day, and as always, thank you for shopping at kmart.