hey guys....
thanks for your comments in the guestbook last nite...those of you who read that last entry and sympathized. i appreciate the support.
but this morning, i was still thinking about it, and ranting to my mother, and the whole fucking thing came to a head when my mother said: "who do you have to blame??" she didn't say it mean or anything...she just wanted me to shut up and think about it. and boy did i ever. it was like a big slap in the face...a heavy dose of reality. of course i always knew it was all my fault for ever being involved with the asshole. you want to have kids, your ass better be fuckin clued in. because i sure as hell wasn't. and that's not to be bitter in the least. it's just the truth.
last nite i went to the bitchfest board (i was in the mood to spread some sunshine...heh) and i saw a comment about a diary called dumbgirl. dumb this girl is, too. it reminded me of myself, and oh too painfully. she talks of having sex like it's another day at the fuckin park or something....and then goes on to say how it was her first time with no condom, rah rah. i hate to attract more attention to this pitiful child's muesings.....her cry for attention is sad, yet not beyond me. i just want to grab her and shake her, and HARD. what the FUCK is this girl thinking???? does she need to be hit in the head with a fucking brick or something??? apparently.
all she would need to do is check out some of my entries.....how i started having sex at 15, had two children by the time i was 20, and now live at home, back where i fucking started in the first place.....writing about pathetic shit such as deadbeat dad's and child support reviews. and all in the name of BUT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. it's all very fucking IRONIC, dumbgirl. i hope you're reading, and taking notes, you fucking twit!!
above all, please believe me when i say....some mistakes, you can never take back. some mistakes, you can never make right again.
peace, i'm out~
jj
